Still Smitten

Smitten with life a little. I get to plan a fabulous cocktail party for work, and I say fabulous because I'm planning it, and it will be. And Brian, ah Brian... my tall Latino drink of water. We have hung out a few more times and he is a good guy, a bit confused and torn, but a good guy. I think I was right about this one.

I have started making lists of what I want. I used to believe it was more important to know what I didn't want but I am realizing what a load of crap that is. To realize what you don't want sets the stage for pure mediocrity. I went to the coffee shop with Deena and we wrote in our journals for like 2 hours. Thank god for friends going thru quarter life crises as well. It was one of the most healing things I've done in awhile. I listed, point by point the things I wanted in my career, and in my love life. Since then my outlook has changed and everything seems a little more manageable, like there is a purpose to all of it.

I went to yoga last night, again with Deena. She is like my lesbian life partner these days. Actually, she's just a phenomenal friend whose presence alone has helped me get through a lot these past few months. I felt like a new person when I left. And then I had a very odd, random conversation with Brian at The Spot. We talked about exes, and why relationships are hard to manage right now. I got a little sad, because it seems like he is not over his ex, nor is he ready for a relationship. And I am ready for a relationship, just not a serious one. But then he left it with, "I want to keep building on this and what we have. I want to take you out, I want to ask you out--it's Wednesday, and I am asking you out for a Friday." So weird mixed messages right? I was also called, "smoking hot" for the first time in my life. That is something that needs to be recorded, it's pretty monumental :)